Melodramas & Westerns

36 pages

4 m, 6 w

Melodrama meets the high seas when J. P. Morganfeller, mysterious millionaire, carries his priceless painting, the "Mona Lisa Unbuttoned," aboard ship. A villainous art thief and three lady cat burglars (thinly disguised as high society types) steal it and throw all the blame on officer Vance Trueblue, who must solve the case to keep his sterling reputation and his true love, Dimity Darling. About 40 minutes.

51 pages

5 m, 5 w

Gideon Culpepper opens the Last Chance Inn and the guests pour in immediately! Dashing Horace Prickley agrees to help poor flower-peddler Flossie McDurdle become a lady, so she can win her heart’s true love, the spineless but wealthy Theodore Vanderthistle. Teddy’s scheming mother, Vedalia, has other plans though. She sends for Posey Lee Perriwinkle, a beautiful Southern belle who arrives via Pony Express as a mail-order bride. Unfortunately, Posey falls for Gideon instead. Meanwhile Horace finds that he is falling for Flossie and facing the dilemma of helpin...

43 pages

5 m, 6 w, 3 flexible parts

Villainous Bernard Blackburn is in debt up to his dark moustache, but he plans to wed innocent Polly Goodson to remedy that! She believes she is penniless, but actually her late father's insurance policy is very valuable. Blackburn is somewhat daunted when he meets Polly's eccentric family and disapproving maid, but he easily gets her boyfriend, John Trueheart, out of the picture by convincing him to go off to make his fortune before asking Polly for her hand in marriage. Luckily, Trueheart finds his fortune in a diamond mine and in a final blackout scene, ev...

24 pages

3 m, 3 w, 6 flexible

Tomorrow is opening night at The Grand Old Theatre and Mastermime, a notorious criminal who distracts audiences with entrancing mime routines and then disappears with their valuables, has defaced the theatre marquee and is terrorizing the stagehands. Will hard-boiled detective Stanton Ovation and his earnest sidekick Deputy Hammet Upp capture this mute but expressive villain before he steals self-absorbed celebrity actress Ima Starr’s diamonds? Or is there more to this case than it seems? Ima’s talkative assistant Roberta, who was a forensic scientist before ...

42 pages

7 m, 6 w, and 3 men from audience

The Fool family has found gold on their homestead and now the whole county has been drawing gold diggers - including two outlaws, the evil Wiley Slithers and Dr. What, a hopeless kleptomaniac. Slithers devises a plan to get rid of Ma and Pa Fool and son Ura so he can marry the lovely daughter, Ima. However, she is stronger than a horse and refuses to marry any man until he can beat her in arm wrestling. Not only that, but Slithers and Dr. What must also outsmart the guy Ima has her heart set on, the handsome milkman, Sam Lactose. Local loonies complicate the ...

64 pages

8 m, 6 w

What happens when two villains in a melodrama meet? The action begins when an English Vicar returns home from doing missionary work in America. Unbeknownst to him, he has brought back a map to a thriving gold mine in California. The Vicar is followed across the pond by the villainous Bart Lovelace and his accomplices who are trying to find the map. Meanwhile, an English villain, Agamore Primrose, has been courting one of the Vicar’s lovely daughters in hopes of gaining a small but handsome inheritance should the Vicar succumb to an untimely accident. During t...

28 pages

4 m, 4 w

In order to save his darling Lily Lackamoney from the clutches of the rapscallion J. Tamarack Gargle, the hero, Balderdash Trustworthy, goes to the city to find the necessary money. Gargle, determined to have the fair damsel, employs the dirty work of Maxine Mascara to throw Balderdash into the river. However, just as the preacher is pronouncing Lily and Gargle man and wife, Balderdash enters in a blaze of glory! One act.

50 pages

6 m, 3 w

Hard times have come on Gumption Gulch and Grandma Gertie Parker is forced to open a clothes-washing service to earn extra money. Even Sheriff Gideon Gumption is “moonlighting” (though the term has him totally baffled) at the stagecoach office and a local lunch spot. Grandma Gertie’s old nemesis has sent her two boys, Luther and Ulysses Bragg, to town to put Gertie’s laundry service out of business as payback for an old feud. Add in a possum-farming brother and sister couple (Elrod has a serious case of “the anxieties”), a blacksmith who dreams of being a com...

42 pages

7 m, 9 w

Unlike most villains, who only have to fight a hero in trying to win the lovely lady, Egar Duntley has to face Miss Lil's whole boardinghouse full of zany characters. There are Miss Lil's mischievous little brothers who dislike him, the deaf lady who keeps staring at him, the men-hungry spinsters who are chasing him, and others. Even more laughs come from Della, Duntley's cleaning lady accomplice. She is chased by an old boarder and served some "fruit juice" which makes her stiff as a board - a part any comedic actress will love to get her teeth into. The her...

41 pages

3 m, 4 w, or all men

Back by popular demand! All the beloved characters are present - the large awkward, wig-wearing heroine, Little Nell; tall, slinky mustachioed villain, Carlton Bainbridge; and the affable, lovable, but-oh-so-slow hero, Hector Skyscraper. Revolving around the heavy plot of "Marry-me-or-I'll-foreclose," you'll want to cry with the heroine, hiss the villain and applaud the hero. This play's a favorite with community groups. One hour (can be lengthened or shortened).

20 pages

5 m, 5 w

Sally Sweet (Buffalo Bill Chip's girl) controls the water for the whole valley where Baron von Broccoli owns most of the land. Now the Baron has a dream to change the eating habits of America - from sugar-frosted broccoli flakes to brocale, an alcoholic drink. He needs more land and LOTS of water. Therein lies the plot. Enter Caesar Salad, a hired killer; Tom O'Hawk, an Irish-Indian; and the BLOBS (Broccoli Lovers Of Broken Stump).

47 pages

4 m, 5 w, 4 flexible

Flint Buckshot is away at a sheriffs convention, so his daughter, Shania, is the deputy in charge - even though she never did get a horse, badge, or a gun to make it official-like! When two desperados, Saddleback Bertha and Sleazebag Barney, roll into town, they realize they've found easy pickings. Telegrams soon arrive reporting that Flint's been badly hurt. Smelling an opportunity, Bertha points out that since Shania is a novice, Barney should be the sheriff because he has considerable experience with law enforcement (although on the wrong side of the law!)...

36 pages

8 m, 7 w, flexible extras

It's the late 1890s, and the little town of Astaire, Wyoming, ready to enter the new century as the "Paris of the Plains," has just elected the first female sheriff west of the Mississippi! Daisy Dandelion vows to bring about law and order with just a law book and "good ol' female common sense." The mayor, who's always looking at the “big picture," and his town council are holding a hoedown in honor of Daisy, who loves to dance. But this celebration is tap-dancing with trouble! One young woman, in a burst of defiance against husbands ruling the roost, encoura...

71 pages

7 m, 7 w, and extras (doubling possible)

Here's a hilarious melodrama spoof whose oddball characters seemingly ad lib their way through the wildest plot ever to come down the pike. Lovely, innocent Constance Purdy is about to lose her home to that villain-about-town, Wiley Schlink. Will hero Monroe Mannerly ride to the rescue in time? Will her long-lost prospector father show up and save the day? These questions aren't really answered because we're laughing too hard at the sheriff who has a mortgage on her own jail, a medicine man who ends up in a dress, and a saloon-smashing suffragette whose ax wo...

54 pages

4 m, 6 w

Faced with losing the Last Chance Inn once again, Ma and Pa Culpepper turn to glamorous Sahara Hartburn. Sahara pays off their loan with money from a "well-heeled admirer" and promptly takes over the inn. Transformed into the Hartburn Hotel, the place becomes a residence for young ladies with a "no men allowed upstairs" policy. Sahara schemes to find a scandal that will give her new venture some publicity, and finds it when the new schoolteacher, Polly Sincere, is paid a visit by her dapper and devoted boyfriend, Jasper Jones - in her room! To escape, Jasper ...